I really want to be a better blogger. Like just in terms of doing it. I go so long without posting anything and then when I look back at past posts, I love that I documented some little happening that I otherwise would have totally forgot about. Or just the way I was feeling at a certain time. A thought I had. No one reads this but me but that is okay. Its sort of like a journal. And that is okay with me.
So here goes.
We bought a new couch! We went on Saturday, it gets delivered Friday and I am so so so excited. Like ridiculously excited. We had these horrible awful devil rat couches for waaaaayyy too long. We had to put them out by the dumpster last night for pick up so now we are sitting on those fold up camping chairs for a couple days. Good riddance.
I returned to work a few weeks ago and at first it just felt good to be doing something productive. Like waking up early and showering. But I'm starting to really miss my baby so much more during the day now though. It's just getting worse. I love so much the time I get to spend with him at the end of the day. He gets real excited now when he gets home and he sees me and I take him over from papa and it makes me feel so good in my heart! It makes me sad though cause we only get to play for a little bit and then its tired time and bath time and nurse time and sleep time. I never want to put him to bed when he falls asleep in my arms at night :( My dream is to find work that I can do from home. And raise my babes. I want a few more of these little orbs of love. and also be earning a good income. (Just putting it out there again Universe)
I so want a house with a yard now too, and a big shady tree that we can hang out under and then when he grows he can climb it. Someday. Sigh. When I was young we had a real big huge Weeping Willow tree in the backyard and oh my goodness we lived in that tree. It had so many big branches that were perfect perches for little butts, and nooks and crannies that made it so easy to climb. Storms broke some of the branches eventually and it got tree sick and had to be cut down. I am going to look into possibly buying a new young one and having it planted in my parents backyard. Maybe that’s just another someday thing. Maybe for my own house someday. When that happens. Sigh. (Universe?)
Hmm, erm…Spiderman 2 should be arriving in the mail today and I am super excited to see it, I really like the first one. I did not like the Tobey McGuire ones AT ALL. They were actually really depressing to me. I HATED them. BUT I LOVE the new one with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone. So adorbs those two.
So C played the flute as his younger self and I recently got to thinking about how much Flynn would probably LOVE it and then if C was able to sort of teach him how to play and how to read music from a young age, if he’s into that sort of thing, just how great that would be! I never took music classes so I don’t know how to play any instruments and it has always made me real sad. I so wish I knew how to play the piano. I could still learn I suppose, but I wish I ALREADY knew how to do it.
I have been so bad about cooking dinners since late in my pregnancy when it was actually painful to stand on my feet for more than five minutes. I can’t believe that, I used to have to stop and sit down for a minute while washing the dishes! What a crazy thing. But so the plan is to cook dinner tonight. I would also like to get in a run but that’s so hard now with my limited time with baby, I don’t want my time with him to be him stuck in a stroller. I wonder if I could ever be the type of person to get up at 6 am and go for a run. Maybe I can try to do that. Maybe.
BUT I am really counting my blessings right now, I have a super healthy, beautiful, mellow baby boy who I love so so much, I have an AMAZING patient, caring, understanding husband who works his booty off for us, I have a JOB (we'll leave it at that, but a lot of people do not, and are having hard times, and we aren't, so for that I am grateful) and I am just real sick of thinking about what I don't have instead of rejoicing for all the wonderfulness I do have.