Pope Francis’s Secrets to Happiness

Pope Francis is just the best. His simple messages of love and hope are so refreshing! taken from The Independent

1. Move forward and let others do the same.

2. “Be giving of yourself to others.” People need to be open and generous toward others, he said, because “if you withdraw into yourself, you run the risk of becoming egocentric. And stagnant water becomes putrid.” -Love that!

3. Proceed calmly” in life. 

4. A healthy sense of leisure. The Pope said “consumerism has brought us anxiety”, and told parents to set aside time to play with their children and turn of the TV when they sit down to eat.

5. Sundays should be holidays. Workers should have Sundays off because “Sunday is for family,” he said.

6. Find innovative ways to create dignified jobs for young people. “We need to be creative with young people. If they have no opportunities they will get into drugs” and be more vulnerable to suicide, he said. -So true!

7. Respect and take care of nature. Environmental degradation “is one of the biggest challenges we have,” he said. “I think a question that we're not asking ourselves is: 'Isn't humanity committing suicide with this indiscriminate and tyrannical use of nature?'” -I find it so interesting that he put it this way, and it's so true!

8. Stop being negative. “Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. That means, 'I feel so low that instead of picking myself up I have to cut others down,'” the Pope said. “Letting go of negative things quickly is healthy.”

9. Don't proselytise; respect others' beliefs. “We can inspire others through witness so that one grows together in communicating. But the worst thing of all is religious proselytism, which paralyses: 'I am talking with you in order to persuade you,' No. Each person dialogues, starting with his and her own identity. The church grows by attraction, not proselytising,” the Pope said.

10. Work for peace. “We are living in a time of many wars,” he said, and “the call for peace must be shouted. Peace sometimes gives the impression of being quiet, but it is never quiet, peace is always proactive and dynamic.

Song on Repeat

Last night on the drive home I couldn't get enough of this song from Broods, 'Bridges'. Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure we went and saw Broods perform live when we lived in downtown Long Beach at that record shop right behind our apartment, I can't remember what its called...something like Paperclips...wait no, got it - Fingerprints. We only saw a handful of performances there, out of the thousands they had, and Broods was one of them (I think).

I have never seen this video before, it's very German, has that same quality as 'Let the Right One In,' that vampire movie?

But this song captures exactly how I feel right now, not the lyrics, just the tone, the emotion. Very fall, and sort of hopeful, and sleepy Sunday, and staying cozy in bed drinking my coffee.

Don't worry, be happy...

I read a good article somewhere that said that nothing matters to your kids more than your level of happiness at your own life. It said that your job doesn't matter, your level of education doesn't matter, whether you were single, divorced, gay or straight, blue or green, or anything. The most secure thing for a child, is having a parent who is happy with their life. or something like that. I wholeheartedly believe this, as right now in my life nothing gives me greater joy then knowing my parents are happy, and my baby being healthy and happy as well!

What new parent doesn't, but I have been thinking a lot about my own upbringing, which was very, very catholic. It was oftentimes very stressful and instead of bringing me peace, it could be a great source of fear and worry. Not necessarily good for a child.

Thinking on all this really makes me realize that I need to spend a lot more time with my spiritual self, I really have been neglecting it and I don't like how that feels.

The one thing I am sure of right now is that I need to do right by my child. so for him, I will be happy with me. I will strive everyday to be present and enjoy the wonder and life my little one gives me.  And we'll figure out the rest as we go, together.

My bebes realizing he can look through the
crack on the stroller and see mama!

Life Happens

Last night the husband was watching some documentary about lions and of course it had to do with a baby lion getting hurt and the mama having to leave it behind. I was sitting there putting a diaper on my own babe sobbing my heart out.

It also rained last night and has been a pretty gloomy day! But I love it! This song is perfect!

I am so excited for fall! I keep forgetting that I live in CA and the trees aren't about to turn orange and red and yellow, and the leaves aren't going to fall off, and our noses and cheeks aren't going to be turning pink anytime soon (from the cold anywho). But I do get to drink salted caramel mochas...even if they are iced, at some point they will be warm. We are going to go to MN for Christmas this year though and I cannot wait. I can already feel the wind on my face and taste the taste of snow - which is just like ice I know, but better. I haven't seen snow in way too long.

Flynn just had a new leap development, which is also called a wonder week. His core literally turned to pure muscle in two days, and he is able to now flip himself over. Literally. Flip. From his tummy right onto his back. I witnessed this. He is also so much more thoughtful and deliberate with grabbing his toys and putting them in his mouth. He is all of a sudden splashing up a storm at bath time, and is also much more interested in his books when I read to him! I love reading and stories and cannot wait to share with him the magic of books!

Oh and he is obsessed with the iphone and computer screens.  My husband shows him surfing videos which he LOVES. He starts pumping his little fists and feet and it is actually really fun. But I find him now looking at these screens whenever he sees them even if there is nothing on. No babe, please don't be obsessed with technology yet.

He is crying a little bit more now, but that's kind of okay cause he wasn't much of a cryer in the first place. Giving him a little dip in his tub or just splashing water on him from the sink seems to really help though. Water is super soothing to me too little bug!

He does this thing when he is going to sleep where he lays on his soft blanky and he wants it touching his cheek so he'll turn his head from side to side real fast and it is seriously the funniest cutest thing ever. Another thing he does is chew on his blanky, like you think he might choke or something but when you check he literally has the tiniest little bit in his mouth and he'll just chew on the edge. I want to make note of all of these small things so I never forget.

I had all of last week off to spend with my parents who were visiting from MN. It was super super great. The weather was slightly milder than usual (80s not 90s) and the ocean was especially tropical. I think my favorite thing was getting to swim in the ocean with my husband while my parents watched Flynn up under the umbrella. We used to live in the ocean and it has been so long since we just jumped in and swam around without scuba gear on our backs!

My other favorite thing was being able to breastfeed my babe. I hate pumping and I hate being at work because I can't be with him and nurse him, so it was great to be with him all week and give him sustenance all while my soul was being fed too.

I loved having you here too mom and dad ;) It was my moms first time to CA and to see the Pacific Ocean and she loved it! Hopefully they will be back again soon! I loved seeing them with Flynn. He loves them and they love him of course. I need to visit MN more, I miss my family so much.

Seeing things like the lion documentary make me incredibly sad, but also extremely grateful and cautious. Please don't let anything ever happen to my precious little bug. I love him so much.

Back in the Swing

I really want to be a better blogger. Like just in terms of doing it. I go so long without posting anything and then when I look back at past posts, I love that I documented some little happening that I otherwise would have totally forgot about. Or just the way I was feeling at a certain time. A thought I had. No one reads this but me but that is okay. Its sort of like a journal. And that is okay with me.

So here goes.

We bought a new couch! We went on Saturday, it gets delivered Friday and I am so so so excited. Like ridiculously excited. We had these horrible awful devil rat couches for waaaaayyy too long. We had to put them out by the dumpster last night for pick up so now we are sitting on those fold up camping chairs for a couple days. Good riddance.

I returned to work a few weeks ago and at first it just felt good to be doing something productive. Like waking up early and showering. But I'm starting to really miss my baby so much more during the day now though. It's just getting worse. I love so much the time I get to spend with him at the end of the day. He gets real excited now when he gets home and he sees me and I take him over from papa and it makes me feel so good in my heart! It makes me sad though cause we only get to play for a little bit and then its tired time and bath time and nurse time and sleep time. I never want to put him to bed when he falls asleep in my arms at night :( My dream is to find work that I can do from home. And raise my babes. I want a few more of these little orbs of love. and also be earning a good income. (Just putting it out there again Universe)

I so want a house with a yard now too, and a big shady tree that we can hang out under and then when he grows he can climb it. Someday. Sigh. When I was young we had a real big huge Weeping Willow tree in the backyard and oh my goodness we lived in that tree. It had so many big branches that were perfect perches for little butts, and nooks and crannies that made it so easy to climb. Storms broke some of the branches eventually and it got tree sick and had to be cut down. I am going to look into possibly buying a new young one and having it planted in my parents backyard. Maybe that’s just another someday thing. Maybe for my own house someday. When that happens. Sigh. (Universe?)

Hmm, erm…Spiderman 2 should be arriving in the mail today and I am super excited to see it, I really like the first one. I did not like the Tobey McGuire ones AT ALL. They were actually really depressing to me. I HATED them. BUT I LOVE the new one with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone. So adorbs those two.

So C played the flute as his younger self and I recently got to thinking about how much Flynn would probably LOVE it and then if C was able to sort of teach him how to play and how to read music from a young age, if he’s into that sort of thing, just how great that would be! I never took music classes so I don’t know how to play any instruments and it has always made me real sad. I so wish I knew how to play the piano. I could still learn I suppose, but I wish I ALREADY knew how to do it.

I have been so bad about cooking dinners since late in my pregnancy when it was actually painful to stand on my feet for more than five minutes. I can’t believe that, I used to have to stop and sit down for a minute while washing the dishes! What a crazy thing. But so the plan is to cook dinner tonight. I would also like to get in a run but that’s so hard now with my limited time with baby, I don’t want my time with him to be him stuck in a stroller. I wonder if I could ever be the type of person to get up at 6 am and go for a run. Maybe I can try to do that. Maybe.

BUT I am really counting my blessings right now, I have a super healthy, beautiful, mellow baby boy who I love so so much, I have an AMAZING patient, caring, understanding husband who works his booty off for us, I have a JOB (we'll leave it at that, but a lot of people do not, and are having hard times, and we aren't, so for that I am grateful) and I am just real sick of thinking about what I don't have instead of rejoicing for all the wonderfulness I do have.

Eating Pregnant

I am about 8 weeks along me thinks? At about week 5, when I had only known for 1 week, we went camping. I hadn't experienced any crazy cravings but one thing had popped into my brain at around 11 p.m. one night which was random and I wasn't even hungry at the time, so of course I labeled it, "My First Craving." It was for pepper ground beef and mushrooms. I made a comment about it, to which one girl responded saying it was too early for me to be having cravings. Oh, okay...WRONG.

The first thing I read about cravings is that they happen early, and they happen late. The general consensus seems to be that the second trimester is the most mild, with the first and third being pretty dramatic in terms of moods and foods, among other things...So I still haven't experienced anything crazy, but I have been giving in to my food wants that I previously abstained from.

Bread. Give me a sandwich, breakfast lunch and dinner, I want a freakin sandwich. Too bad you aren't supposed to have deli meat while you're pregnant due to an evil little bacteria named Listeria. Turns out it can cause blood poisoning and infections to the baby, even miscarriage! Son of a bitch. You can have deli meat if you heat it to steaming first. Looks like it'll be hot sandwiches for me, which is just fine because of...

Roast Beef. This is a pretty strong craving I have been experiencing, hot roast beef sandwiches. It's a good thing we have some of the best delis around within walking distance. I have always loved roast beef, but I typically avoid red meats just cause. You hear all sorts of weird things, and I don't feel as bad murdering a chicken or fish, as I do after seeing those horror images of cows and pigs being factory slaughtered. I buy organic free range chicken and eggs too, but it's the health reasons as well as the physical toll they take on my body that causes me to avoid red meat. It makes me break out, and it makes me gassy, and the worst kind. So this one I will try to keep minimal. This craving seemed to subside after just a couple weeks of wanting red meat every day. Whew.

Pickles. I have always been a pickle eater, the worst kind, and they have to be dill. I would normally limit myself to 3 pickles in one sitting at the most, but I have been going a little buck wild since finding out I was prego. Please take my advice. Do not eat half a jar of pickles in one sitting. Please, please, please do not drink half the juice. This was not really an unpleasant experience, per say, but I never knew that pickle juice could do that to you. At least my system got a nice flushing out.

Ice Cream. I want a different style of ice cream every day. Praline Pecan Monday, Neapolitan Tuesday, Drumstick Wednesday, Ice Cream Sandwich Thursday. This one is tricky as I typically avoid dairy, but I've also been craving milk. I can't say I'm lactose intolerant, but it does make me feel a little funky. So I bought Lactose free milk which is amazing, it's creamy, and thick, and oh so delicious.

That is really about it. I feel very blessed to not be experiencing any morning sickness, like none. The only thing that makes me sick to my stomach is the thought of eating some foods that pre-pregnancy I loved. Like breakfast tacos, and fruit. I do not want fruit! I am basically forcing it down my throat.

I have also been craving Thanksgiving dinner, and Mac & Cheese but I haven't given in to those ones...yet.

There's a Baby in Me...

My husband and I decided to start being open to the idea of becoming parents about a month and a half ago. I wasn't using birth control, so all we had to do was stop using our, er, other method...I'm 30, he is 29 and we just felt ready for the next part of our journey as a family. We have been together for close to 8 years, and celebrated our 1 year anniversary this past June.

It happened instantly, unbeknownst to me, he kept track on a calendar of when, well you know. I am either 7 weeks pregnant, or 4 weeks. I have an appointment scheduled for October 1 where we will hopefully determine exactly. I'm hoping it's only 4 weeks, as that would cut down on the amount of time I was pregnant without knowing I was pregnant.

Everything seemed normal, I started getting cranky, and crabby, and bloated. My Ms. P was on the way. Day after day I expected her to show up and was hoping it would hurry up and get there before our upcoming camping trip. I finally checked my P Tracker App and realized I was 9 days late. Woah. I ran to target on my lunch break at work and took the test in my office bathroom. Instant positive. Had to wait 5 seconds vs. the 2 minutes it stated on the package. I was not expecting this at all. I felt excited, and nervous, and scared. I knew I would wrap my head around it, but initially I just felt shock, and like I mentioned, fear.

Everything becomes so poignant in that moment, what have I been doing the last few weeks? Besides scuba diving and taking death hikes, there was lots of drinking, and I had been in the process of quitting smoking for months now, so at least I was just a drinking smoker at this point, as opposed to a smoking smoker.

What do I have to do? I already wanted to move, I don't want to live here even more now that I'm pregnant, especially after the thing is born. We live in Downtown Long beach, and it's been wearing on me for a long time now, there are miscreants at every turn and lots of noise and pollution. The husband needs a new car, and he is in school. Stop. Breathe. You'll figure it all out.

I waited to tell the husband that evening at home by holding the test in front of his face. He for some reason thought it was negative at first but that's neither here nor there. He was excited, and happy, and we are going to be parents and we both couldn't be happier.

A friend of mine is a few weeks farther along than I and has been an amazing resource! Both of us are lucky enough to not be experiencing any morning sickness. I just feel bloated - really bloated, and sore, and tired, and extra sensitive.

I realize the gravity of the situation as this: Everything is going to change, I can no longer float along doing as I please living life weekend to weekend, drinking as I please and staying up all hours of the night. My life as been my own, but now it will become so much more. It will just mean more, more responsibility, more love, a different kind of worry and more of it. I also know I will want more. I don't want to raise a family in Southern California. I want trees, and rain, and seasons. And an actual home. everything will change and I can't wait for it.

Boo

I love you.

Not Fair

Everything changes. Always. I know that, I've come to accept it and even love it. But sometimes... 

In the past year I have had two new jobs, been given a car, gotten married, and taken my first real vacation in over six years. That's kind of a lot, no? And my husband moved into a new position at work that gives him a better schedule, and even the flexibility to work from home. Maybe I'm just jealous, no, I am jealous, but we talk all the time about starting a family, so shouldn't I be the one heading home bound? I know it doesn't work like that, but I am not happy for him. I am stomping my proverbial three year old foot demanding no! My turn! I can't believe at this point in my life I am whining about something being unfair but I am. This is a good thing for him, he is still in school and this will allow him to get in his studying and not have to race to class after work. I still feel like I'm going to burst into tears about it though.

I so want to be back in MN, life here is good and right during the week, but come Friday and I miss my friends and family back home. Last weekend all I could think about was the fact that the weekend prior WAS spent in MN, My line of thinking was like, exactly one week ago I was eating greek salad and garlic grilled potatoes on the patio with the hose running water all over our feet which amazingly made me chilly in the 96 degree heat.

And I took like two pictures...which were lame...I hate that the most...not having any pictures of me with my friends I never see.

And the children, don't even get me started :) It was amazing to see all the little ones, my amazing two year old nephew "The Destructor", my week old nephew Sloan, who I got to hold onto for hours :) little Georgia Peach, Jack who is growing up into a real boy, awkward Cash :) Bernadette, who is bursting with personality and sweet little James. Plus my nanny girls I adore. I kind of miss the kids the most...

I want to come back in Septemeber if tickets prices are low....we'll see

Love this day

Tonight I want to hose down the balcony, put some candles out, drink wine and smoke cigarettes listening to Foster the People.

I woke up this morning and practically popped out of bed-Friday. I drank my coffee and did my mini workout so I'm going strong.

I have a few errands to run after work and the apartment needs a deep clean but then it's relax time...maybe make some shrimp bruschetta and angel hair with pesto and goat cheese...mmm

Monday Monday

I hate when people say this but I have a case of the Mondays.

I do not want to be at work.

I would be so content to be at home getting the laundry done that I didn't do over the weekend.

Heading up to Ikea to pick up that armchair and ottoman I can't stop visualizing in my living room.

Gardening.

Moving.

I am becoming quite discontent with my neighborhood, it is ghetto for lack of a better word, and I see change on the horizon. I would love to move up further north in CA, where there are some actual trees. Seattle gives pull and when I imagine life there one word encapsulates my being-cozy. I miss MN and believe at some point we will head back there but not until such a time as frequent escape is possible-I will not return just to be stuck once again...gives me the shudders, it's to far away from any shores (lake shores exempt.) The East coast also appeals to me, I am not meant for Southern California. Escape is imminent.

Sea Salt Caramel Brownies

I finally got around to making sea salt caramel brownies this weekend.

I've never made brownies from scratch and I've never made caramel ever.

Just for fun I decided to use coconut crystals instead of brown sugar, which melted up wonderfully... till I burnt it. It was my first time so I left it over the heat stirring it till I realized instead of bring to a boil, stir vigorously till thickens, it probably meant bring to a boil, remove from heat, stir vigorously till thickens.

I also overcooked the brownies...I couldn't tell they were done cause the caramel was all over and every time I dipped my knife in it came out liquidy (caramelly), they tasted amazing but not the fudgey, gooey, under-cooked-ness I love.

So I tried again.

This time I used the simpler recipe. It wasn't until the brownie batter is done when I realize that the recipe did not call for any eggs...confusion ensues, but I baked em on up any ways and it was super late so I decided to let them cool overnight and all day today so I will try them when I get home and let you know how that worked out, the website I got the recipe off of has a few different versions, one of them vegan, I used the vegan brownie recipe. Which would be great, if I were vegan. The batter tasted AMAZING though, and technically there would be nothing wrong with eating all of it like that, if that's what you wanted to do, since there are no raw eggs in it. That must be how they make brownie batter ice cream, or cookie dough treats, just leave out the egg.

This time I under heated the caramel in my attempt to not burn it so it was a lil granually at the end, I tried to go back and melt it with a higher heat but the graininess didn't completely go away.

I will perfect these brownies, it's just going to take me a few tries :)

Find the recipe here:

http://www.olivia-rae.com/2010/08/caramel-sea-salt-brownies-revised.html

Right now

1. More than anything, I wish I could be sitting in my moms backyard. I am pricing plane tickets so this can become a reality.

2. In my cup is Duchess Earl Grey (Trader Joes) and Wild Sweet Orange (Tazo)...exquisite.

3. I really need to learn to use my camera proper, it shouldn't be a luck thing if photos come out right.

4. Aloe Vera juice is amazing. I am ordering a case of it.

5. Tonight we are going to the gym and I am very much looking forward to it. I wonder if I can convince C to do Body Flow with me...

6. I really want eggs right now.

Gym Buddy

Yay! I finally convinced C to go to the gym with me! He has had a very bad experience with a gym and he works out at home so he was just never interested. This was bad for me because I used to have a friend/co-worker/workout buddy that I went with but she went to a new job and I am just not at all good at going by myself.

You put the lime in the coconut...

I am relieved to have no plans this weekend, I have 10 million loads of laundry to do and it would be nice to finally get my closet organized, we can maybe finally watch the movies I rented from netflix over a month ago (The Fighter & You Again). And maybe we can even go and see Water for Elephants! And a hike would be wonderful if it's nice, or finally get around to renting bikes. The possibilities are endless!

I have been on a coconut kick for a while, but it's more of an addiction than a kick. I recently discovered that there are such things as coconut flour, and coconut nectar (syrup), and crystals (like sugar), and vinegar! The crystals have a brown sugary essence, and also a slight mesquite flavor. It's different. The flour smells and slightly tastes like Samoas and I haven't yet tried the nectar or vinegar. It's really interesting though, I need to research it more but so far Ive learned that the flour somehow lowers the caloric value of whatever you use it with, you are supposed to mix it with reg flour as it has different absorptive properties and you can also use it to thicken gravy. The vinegar is also more nutritious than apple cider vinegar. Coconut products have a very low glycemic conversion so they are good for diabetics. I have been drinking coconut water regularly for about 4 months b/c I love it but also because it is really hydrating and a better source of potassium than bananas. I love the coconut fruit, or meat whatever it is, it just tastes beneficial somehow, they sell coconuts at the grocery store and I need to figure out how to chop them without having a Bahamian man or a machete. I wish we could grow coconuts here, it really makes me want to live in the Bahamas or Hawaii, you can practically live off the stuff.

Seaweed is creeping into my diet as well. Trader Joes has little packs of seaweed snack-it's good! It's dried, and salty, and as it sits in your mouth it re-hydrates and has a slight chewy texture. This inspired me to order some actual kelp, it comes dried and rubbery, but you can use it in many ways, such as in soup, like I am going to do. Combine the seaweed, miso paste, green onion and tofu and viola!

I sent my mom a care package of a bunch of coconut products and some seaweed and a sampler of all the teas I have acquired. I think it will be fun for her to go through and try them. I sent her tea bags of Sweet Thai Delight, Tahitian Vanilla Hazelnut, Mayan Cocoa Spice, Egyptian Licorice, Mango/Peach/Pineapple Green Tea, Cucumber White Tea, Ginger Pear White Tea, Pomegranate White Tea, Wild Sweet Orange, Mint Melange, Duchess Gray, Strawberry Pomegranate, Mangosteen Green, Coconut Mango Oolong, and Acai Berry. I love putting together little care packages.

And did you know that white tea and peanut butter both have more antioxidants than green tea! Crazy!

I am hopefully going to make these tomorrow night! Click on the pic for the recipe!

I say hopefully, because, well...you know me :)

He's a keeper!

Soooo...I guess I am getting married? :) Two weeks after I met him the thought popped in my head, "I think I'm gonna marry this guy," we had never even met in person, or talked on the phone for that matter, and we were 3000 miles apart.

We met on myspace, which used to embarrass me, but now I just think it's silly, like what are the chances? He had a picture of a man surfing as his profile picture that I thought was really pretty (the water) so I sent a friend request, he accepted and said a confused hello, I told him why I added him and he shrugged and said what the heck. My profile picture was of a foot. Hello turned into what music do like which turned into tell me everything about yourself. We emailed almost every day for a month and when I didn't really didn't know what to type anymore I decided to give him my phone number. He used it and four months later I flew out to California to meet him, five years later and the rest is history.

He takes me as I am and is truly my comfort from the storm. He challenges me and supports me and he even does the dishes.

Pretty Simple

I was going to do something fancier, but after Friday Night Giggle Dance Party I just threw some stuff together. Carlos had to work 6 a.m. (Oh Laud) to 10 a.m. Saturday, Friday we had three bottles of wine to three people and were up till maybe....1-2 a.m.? So we were a touch out of it. I had some veggies from the farmer's market the week before I needed to use up so I did just that. The eggs have shrimp. spinach and a bit o' mozzarella, the other thing on the plate is a mixture of left over red baked potato, mushrooms, and green onion fried up with some olive oil and salt & pepper. These were the best breakfast tators I have ever had....Seriously, I am not even tooting my own horn. Breakfast was at 10...not 6.

Marina & The Diamonds | I am not a Robot

I love this song and this is my new favorite band.

Breakfast Anyone?

Scrambled Eggs
Blueberry Herb Salad
Smoked Salmon w/ Cream Cheese, Thick Sliced Tomato, and Capers all on a crispy thin bagel slice and topped with a squeeze of lemon
Strawberries
Orange Juice

On Saturdays I love making something special for breakfast, instead of going out or skipping all together. We tend to stay in and relax with some wine and take it easy on Friday, so it's nice to plan something early and surprise him in the morning. This was last Saturday, the week before was Ahi Steaks w/ Asparagus topped with 2 Over-Easy Eggs (Not pretty enough to post a picture, I was out of oil so I fried the eggs in the fish juice and while it tasted lovely, it looked kind of grayish and just well....eh.

I get excited trying to figure out what to make.

This weekend I have a new thing to try. Surprise surprise :)

Water for Elephants

I cannot wait for this movie! April 22nd!

The book was very, very good! If you haven't read it...do.

Craving

Davanni's Turkey Hoagie....Homer Simpson drool face.

When I visit, here is where I want to eat:
1. Davanni's
2. Cossetta's
3. Carbones
4. Chino Latino
5. Jimmy Johns

Right now I'm thinking my visit will be from May 26-June 5, I am hoping Carlos can get that time off of work so he can come too, or at least part of it.

I wish we could do a girl dinner, with Ann and Jeana, and have it be just like old times. Just without me being chubby and awkward.

The epitome of a Saturday

-Made funfetti cupcakes with blueberries in the bottom.
-Went out and picked up some fresh flowers :)
-Made shrimp ceviche for dinner.

Coco couldn't stay away from the flowers :)

-Watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, this is my favorite romantic comedy ever, I LOVE the chemistry between Kate Hudson & Matthew McConaughey, when they let each other in towards the end, it's so friggin cute and makes me feel all bubbly inside.

I just want to cook.

I am all about food blogs lately, I wanted to buy a cookbook but I have no idea which to get, there are ten million of them out there and blogs are just so much more...me (easy)(and free;), I have no where to store cookbooks anyway.

I want a giant kitchen and tons of friends so I can cook for everyone and we can break bread and drink wine and it'll be just like a movie and we'll all get on just grand I tell you...

I want Cossetta's

I am craving Cossetta's sausage pizza right now...oh my gosh, they don't make pizza that good out here, not that Ive had yet anyways. The crust, the sauce, the cheese... it's enough to buy a plane ticket to MN for...

Yesterday I watched Little Women. It was pretty amazing, I haven't seen that movie in so long, and it's so good, I remember the first time I watched it, it was with you and Therese and it was forever ago, I'm not sure if I ever saw it more than once. It was the perfect day for it, super windy and stormy and cold, curled up on the couch and then I made homemade chicken spaetzle for dinner, it tasted just like Bruegger's, I swear, before they fucked it all up. It was a very good nostalgic cozy sort of day. I couldn't remember how it ended, but the moral is really quite wonderful. Jo follows her heart. I wish it would have ended differently, but I think it's a true story...I'm not really sure though...

When I got to work this morning my fish was dead :( He was awesome, he was a person, and he made me happy, and I will miss him.

So this radiation thing is pretty silly, I am scared but I'm not sure if I should be, it is so hard to know what to believe. People say to not trust the media (which I don't) but I found a website with a live radiation monitor in Santa Monica and it's all normal. And were exposed to so much radiation already it's just sort of ridiculous. Especially you. Just kidding. But seriously, our cell phones, electronics, GE energy saving light bulbs (those are bad), planes, trains, automobile's...what pisses me off the most is that supposedly Obama has plans with GE to build more nuclear plants on American soil. I am really confused by this, we should be focusing on solar power, not wind or water, but solar. It's pretty amazing and I can't believe the American government isn't making this a priority. I'm making a sign.

I hate watching the news, it makes me really angry at the things our government has done and kept us ignorant of, and the things we allow ourselves to be ignorant of. I think people don't want to think about it, or they don't think there is anything they can do, or they just don't want to know, or care. and this is bad, it is so irresponsible of us to allow our government to do what they want. They do not have the peoples best interests at heart, there is no longer any nobility in government. It makes me sad.

Date Night?

After Yoga class I always crave Greek food from my favorite rez Georges, which is right down the street. I'm not really sure why this is...maybe it's because the first time I took the class, the gym was having some sort of meet & greet type thing and they were serving Greek food...okay, i'm pretty sure that's why...regardless of the reason, I have never given in to this craving. It's already after 8, I'm by myself, I want to get home, I don't want to spend...anywhy, tomorrow I think I will give in, and maybe take in a movie, I'm thinking Black Swan. Yoga, dinner, movie...I can't wait for my date...with myself!

Weekend time is here.

It is Friday and I am ecstatic! Fun things to do this weekend! People to see, places to go...I LOVE having plans I actually want to partake in.

Tomorrow there is a folk show right behind my apartment at the new record store, the band is a friend of my friend. Then Bar 107, one of my favorite places, and hopefully end the night w/ some Kitchen 24 Disco Fries and a Monte Cristo w/ Maple Syrup.

Sunday is football and I plan on making Aztec chicken chili, cheddar jalapeno cornbread and sea salt caramel brownies - I STILL have yet to make my dream desert, and possibly black bean mango shrimp salad...depends if anyone else is coming over besides me and husband...

I want to watch

1. Benjamin Button


2. Australia


3. Pride & Prejudice


All right now....

I hate.

1. Ppl that call you and kind of just sit there...you called me, why do I have to make the conversation? I am not 12 anymore, I have other shit to do then sit on the phone.

2. The lady who sits right behind me at work. She huffs and puffs and moans and makes irritating exclamations as she passes my desk throughout the day. And the phone calls...stop giving everyone your fucking work #, seriously, it's quiet back here, I can hear everything you say and your whisper talk makes my brain literally hurt. And why do you take 20 bathroom breaks a day? And I'm starting to believe there is something wrong w/ you...

3. The British Office guys laugh, you are ruining your new show 'An Idiot Abroad' w/ your awful, screeching, chalkboard nails sounding laugh.

New Show that is just my style:

An Idiot Abroad


Ricky Gervais laughing way harder than anyone else which makes thing not funny all.

He makes these statements like, "This is really funny, people are going to love my new funny show." No, do not love your new funny show, I would, but then you laughed and made me want to kill myself.

This weekend

I want to:
1. Take down my bed
2. Take the carpet out of the bedroom
3. Make Sea Salt Caramel Brownies
(found here: http://www.olivia-rae.com/2010/08/caramel-sea-salt-brownies-revised.html)
4. Eat Chipotle
5. Watch a good movie
6. Finish organizing my closet
7. Visit the Malibu Getty
8. Trader Joes

I don't really know how do describe it...

Sometimes, do you feel a certain way, and when you think about it, like, try to label the way you feel, the only way to describe it or label it, is like a movie?

Right now I feel like Terminator 2, I don't really know what that means but that's how I feel...maybe I'm pms-ing...

Mmm...

Why the eff am I craving hot dogs? The kind from the pretzel place that are wrapped in pretzel...mmm...

Zumba anyone?

I signed up for a gym yesterday, Gold's Gym to be exact. It's $30 a month and right down the street from my apartment. I'm super excited, I have been wanting a treadmill for months now but never wanted to throw down the cash or sacrifice the minimal space in the house. I didn't know gym membership was so cheap or I would have done it a long time ago...oh well...and my friend joined too, so I have a workout buddy....Yay!

ugh

I need to stop eating...seriously, I feel like im gaining so much weight damn holidays. Thanksgiving is just one day of feast but Christmas lasts all month and it is catching up with my waistline, or current lack thereof, and my arse. I feel chunky, this ends now! This isn't a new years res, this is a for real right now stop letting yourself go just because you had a month of treats and feasts res. I declare war on you 7 pounds!

My po po kitty...

Baby Coco was sick, she is not anymore but I keep thinking about it and how it made me feel...so I want to talk about it.

Ms. Coco got her first issue of ladies monthly last month, and now I need to get her spayed. I feel kind of bad about this, I don't want to cut her open and take out her ovaries, I don't want to think I am the supreme being and have the right to tell her "No, you don't ever get to have babies, never!", but mostly, I don't want her to be sad because she is in pain and feel like I did it to her. She is such an emotional little girl and well, I thought I had more time, she can't be like more than 5 months old...

So anyways, last week she just wasn't herself and I was wondering if kitties got pms. I can't find any information on this online and the vets I talked to were like uh..., so no luck there, but then it got worse, she like wasn't moving, she would just lie there and look at you all sad and then close her eyes for like hours. She wasn't coming to bed and sleeping with me-she sleeps with me under the covers EVERY night, and when I got up in the morning, she was in the exact same spot as the night before. The next night I made her sleep with me, and when she didn't get up with me in the morning I went and got her out of bed and had to bring her to her water bowl where she drank super weak and slow like, and then I put her in the litter box because she wouldn't do ANYTHING on her own, and she pee pee and poo poo-ed but like I said, I had to bring her around cause she wouldn't do it on her own. She wouldn't clean herself, she wasn't responding to any stimulation...it was heartbreaking.

I was just about to bring her to the vet when she seemed to be slightly getting better, so I gave it a day, and she seemed even more a little better and then better and all better. This was over the span of five to six days, the middle days being the worst...I am not sure what was up but I did not like seeing my little girl not feeling well.

I too, want this bathroom...

I saw this in another blog, http://downandoutchic.blogspot.com/2010/11/i-want-this-bathroom.html and agree, I too, want this bathroom. I love the color, the kitsch on the wall, but most of all, the tub. I cannot wait till some futuristic...future when I WILL have a claw foot tub, I dream about it sometimes when Im showering in my shallow tub. One time I tried to take a bath in the tub in my apartment...it was depressing.

It's Friday and I'm Wanting

1. A smallish table to use as a desk























2. A Dresser (and this mirror)



















3. Wooden blinds
4. TV stand...that ancient Victrola for $600 would be perfect...if I wanted to spend $600...
5. Clothes, I need more dresses, black and tweed slacks, boots for fall, a black pea coat, sweaters...I badly want this pairs from Cole Haan



















6. I still need a Treadmill
7. A Car...
8. Secret December want
9. Last but really first...for my mom to be healthy and to circle my family with a cushion of love and sunshine and green grass and blue sky (metaphorically as winter is right around the corner)